


Attraction and Hatred

by 13ineedpills13



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Confusion, Depressed Katsuki Yuuri, Depression, Hurt Katsuki Yuuri, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Religion, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-07-10 19:24:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19910929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/13ineedpills13/pseuds/13ineedpills13
Summary: Highschool AUBottling up his emotions for 16 years, giving up on his dreams when he was just a child, barely getting into a highschool, the constant noise on his mind that tells him that he is just seeking attention by doing something simple as being sad, the lack of social skills and the feeling of being unhappy with himself, not being able to please anyone, even his own parents, not knowing what to do in general...It was more than he could ever chew.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SomeRandomDutchFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeRandomDutchFangirl/gifts).



> This is my first fanfiction and I am really excited!
> 
> English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are any spelling or grammar issues.
> 
> Please keep the tags in mind if you are going to read this!

It was way too much for Yuri Katsuki. Way too much. 

Bottling up his emotions for 16 years, giving up on his dreams when he was just a child, barely getting into a highschool, the constant noise on his mind that tells him that he is just seeking attention by doing something simple as being sad, the lack of social skills and the feeling of being happy with himself, not being able to please anyone, even his own parents, not knowing what to do in general... 

It was more than he could ever chew.

And now, he was feeling the guilt of failing to be with his dog for the half of the poor animal's life while he was sitting in a toilet seat and talking with his mother on the phone. With tears on his eyes.

"Okay... I'll call you later then..." he ended the call and closed his phone. And then sighed.

Yuri was tired. Seriously tired. 

He paused for a moment, wiped the tears on his eyes and thought about what his father said to him when he was a little kid. 

"Yuri. No matter what you have to face with, no matter how you feel, god is always watching you."  
"He knows what you need, even before you ask for it."  
"He will have sympathy and mercy on your soul if you be a good boy, Yuri."

Bullshit. It was all just some stinky and sad bullshit. For he have already heard his father, screaming "Humans are creatures that HAVE TO find something to believe in! They prefer to believe rather than to think!" when he was fighting with his mother. 

You see, his mother was a religious person. Probably the only person who actually cared about god's wishes. But bis father, never put much thought on these kind of topics. He would stay silent when his wife started to talk about religion and just agree. But when she tried to prevent their daughter or son from doing something, they would fight all day. When he said "Use your brain?" she would say "Use your heart." It was a miracle that these two people stayed married until Yuri was 14 years old.

Yuri didn't felt anything when he heard about this "divorce" issue. In fact, he was relieved. He hated hearing his parents fight over every little single thing during night. Vicchan would get uneasy and start to bark. Mari would get down the stairs and yell at her parents so "shut up". In the middle of the FUCKING night.

And Yuri would sit on his bead, stare at the carpet beneath his feet blankly until the shapes swirled and made new shapes and signs together. Starting to listen to their fights from his dark and cold bedroom from the tender age of 6, effected him deeply of course. He has sleep problems, and sometimes he couldn't even sleep properly without taking melatonin. He had an intense fear agganist loud noises. He felt his eyes burn and blur every time someone screamed at him. He became distant, never allowed anyone to touch him and ignored everyone. This became stressful for him because at the time, he was newly embracing his sexuality -he was bisexual- he even hissed at his own sister whenever she tried to hug or simply pet his head. 

His grades were not really bright eighter. He barely passed his freshman year. He hated P.E simply because he had to change with 20 boys in the same locker room. So he would just go to the farest locker and change there instead. He hated showing his body. This was Yuri's situation. Coming from a medium income family from Japan, divorced parents, and a sudden slap of depression.

"What a time to be alive!" Yuri thought as he was staring at his empty classroom from his seat. He came in there before anyone else, which would mean awkward encounters with every single person in the classroom until there were at least 5 students in there. At least he didn't have to see everyone in the classroom, looking at his gloomy eyes, old clothes and messy hair that covered most of his face. 

Suddenly, the god himself barged into the classroom. With shining sliver hair, bright blue eyes, stunning cheek bones, nicely shaped eyebrows, a perfect nose, clothes from stores that Yuri probably couldn't even pass by...

Yuri never that knew he could feel attraction and hatred at the same time.


	2. The King and The Target

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The foolish and happy king, and the calm and collected target saw each other for the first time. 
> 
> In a classroom with an uneasy atmosphere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got some insparation from Goodnight Punpun while writing this. Some parts are similar of course. I recommend you to read the manga, it's really beautiful.

This clumsy man who came barging into the classroom in a panicked and out of breath state while leaning on the door frame, made Yuri feel all giddy inside. Maybe it's because he was handsome, and looked like the god of love, Eros.

The man spoke slowly, like he was trying to think about his words and was afraid of something. " Мне жаль! я опаздываю- I, uh, I mean, um... I'm sorry! I'm late! I'm Viktor, I hope you didn't take attendence yet!"

Yuri was staring blankly at the guy thar started to speak in a slavic language. 'He is russian I guess?'

Viktor finally looked up and met with a sight that he wasn't expecting. There was no one in the classroom expect for a asian boy who was staring at him intensly with a chocolate milk package on his hand. The boy was wearing loose and old clothes and looked a little lile they have been worn for 5 years. His face was round, he had a cute little nose, but the cloud in his eyes made the atmosphere heavy and erased all of his beauty "We still have 30 minutes before the class starts, Viktor." the boy spoke quietly. Viktor actually liked the way his name sounded in this asian boy's tounge.

But then it clicked.

He forgot to fix his phone's time, which fucked up every now and then. That's why he was so panicked when he looked at the clock and thought that he had 10 minuted to get ready. So he wore the first clothes that he found in his closet, barely fixer his hair, washed his face, brushed his teeth, didn't ate any breakfast and came running to the school since he "missed" the bus, which in reality, was going to arrive to the bus stop 10 minutes later. 

The thing that made him panick even more was the emptiness of the school. He thought the classes have already started but in reality, not even one student has showed up at that time because it was too early. But after that emotional roller coaster, he was just laughing at his own situation in front of the cute boy in front of him. His laugh was so tender and charming, that Yuuri felt like he was under a spell. "I should really fix the time on my phone... I can't believe it." he said as he was sitting next to the boy since he didn't know where else to sit. 

Viktor was cute and all, but Yuri couldn't suppress the hatred inside of him towards this man. 

He was probably going to be so popular amongst other students, girls were probably going to bully every girl and boy who felt some kind of attraction towards him. Of course, Viktor was not the one who was going to tell them to do that, but Yuuri knew that it was going to hapen. He experienced this many times in middle school. 

People looked down at him a lot. He was not born with handsome features, he didn't have any special talents, his body had a good stamina, but his immune system was shit. His mental state was also horrible. He had an eating disorder in the past and he has depression now. He was a useless person, a disgrace to his family and relatives. He doesn't have many friends eighter. He left all of them in Japan.

But people like Viktor... they made friends easily. They had the looks to attract and fool anyone. They have always seen as someone superior. Even if they are disgusting on the inside and someone exposed them, they would still have supporters. Because they had the looks, the social privileges and skills, they had the power even if they were poor. 

But people like Yuri?

They were the target. People made sure that their life was miserable. They have always been the downcast. He, hated Viktor for that. And he could not forgive him because of this that easily.

Meanwhile, Viktor was worried because this guy was staring at his desk with a cruel and disgusted expression. "Hey, are you okay?" Yuri came back to the real world with his voice instantly. "What? Me? Oh... Oh, I'm okay."

"Alright, whatever you say..." Viktor pasued at smiler at Yuri. "We are alone in here for 30 minutes from now on. I don't want to sit here awkwardly... What is your name?"

Yuri was annoyed. "...Yuri Katsuki."

Viktor smiled brightly in return. "My name is Viktor Nikiforov! Nice to meet you!"


	3. The Phone Number

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward conversations between the two.

"So..." Viktor tried to open up a conversation. "Do you like dogs?"

Yuri's eyes shined bright for a second, but the shine disappeared as it came. "I do."

"What about sports? Are you into them?"

"I was." 

"Was? So you don't like them anymore?"

"Yeah."

His responses were blunt and short, which made Viktor feel weird. The taller man wondered if he did something that pissed Yuri off, or if Yuri was just a person who was not good at socializing with people. 

"So... where are you from?" said the Russian man as he desperately tried to save this awkward conversation.

Yuri stood silent to that question for a bit. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell his home country to this man but he would find out through instagram or twitter anyway. "I grew up in Japan." He looked at him in the eye. You?"

"Oh, I was born in Russia. In St. Petersburg!" 

'Good for you I guess...' Yuri mumbled to himself. Happy with getting a reaction out of Yuri that wasn't two words long, he grinned and started to talk about his country, the climate, his important childhood memories, his parents and his friends who lived there.

Yuri had a problem with communication ever since his elemantary school days. So he choose to listen rather than to talk. Though his teachers didn't had any problems with specifically him, his participation grades would often be on a dissapointing -and sometimes on a spanking- level. It seems like he never learnt his lesson after that since he was still terrible at conversations.

But something about this man, made Yuri feel calm and entertained. He was still annoyed at him for his existence, but I guess it wouldn't harm to talk with him -or rather listen to him ramble about a combination of irrelevant things-. It felt nice to have someone do the talking for him while he had no idea to say.

Two opposite people. Like a king and a slave. At first glance, it seemed impossibke for them to even make eye contact but perhaps they could get along after all.

Except Yuri called bullshit on that.

These kind of interactions felt like a start of a stupid romantic comedy book that would be read by 14 year old, depressed teenage girls who listened to Billie Eilish or Taylor Swift and he was not going to act like one. He already had enough problems in his life, and now he will try to improve his relationship with this other dude when almost nothing works out in his life?

No sir. That's not going to happen.

"...and after that, we went to a restaurant and ate there. It was so beautiful!"

"Hm?" Yuri was caught off guard to that. "With who?"

"Haven't you been listening to me this whole time Yuri!?" The Russian man pouted. "I went there with my ex."

"Your ex?"

"I didn't told you about him."

"Oh okay." Yuri was curious about this ex, but he met this dude just 30 minutes ago. He couldn't ask him personal questions like this right now.

The class was slowly packing up with other people. A few girls were looking at their direction while Viktor seemed like he didn't noticed them. Or he was just ignoring them, who knows?

A few people who actually went there to learn about geography were sitting at the front seats as they were talking to each other about their studying schedule -but who jumps straight into the topics at hand at the very first day?- Those popular soccer team boys were at the very last row of seats and they were talking about how many times they were going to get laid this year. Some people were at their quiet little bubble without bothering anyone and some girls were talking about the latest make up drama at the center of the class. This class was going to be shitty and colourful at the same time, that's for sure.

Their conversation was going smoothly until the classroom was packed. It became harder and harder to hear each other and have a steady conversation since so many people were around. They were running out of time, and of course, at some point, the bell rang.

"Aw, bummer... I wanted to talk to you more... Hey, can you give me your phone number?"

"...Excuse me?"

"I want to talk to you, outside of school more! Please?"


	4. Differences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit comes in for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm gonna go outside of my city because of personal reasons at 6th of August and I should probably come back between the 12th-14th. I'm going to try and write as much as shit for this bullshit plot as possible ;)

Now Yuri was panicking.

Was he going to break this poor dude's heart by kindly rejecting him and creating a bad atmosphere, or was he going to give his number to him and completely scream agganist his own principals and common sense?

-He had this feeling many times in the past. When a colloge student came up to him and tried to sell some cards to him to support his other friends financially, he barely declinedhim because he didn't had any money with him. He felt terrible. Or that one time where a lady tried to give him a free sandwich in honor of their store's opening but he had to decline her because he was feeling nauseous back then. The sad look on the lady's face haunted him.- 

He felt angry and frustrated.

He wasn't gonna give his number to this spoiled and idiotic man that easily. "I'm sorry Viktor. I don't think I should give you my number now." He managed to blurt out.

Viktor seemed a little discouraged, and Yuri wanted to shot himself on the head right there and right then. He hated making people feel sad, he felt guilty. Despite of Yuri getting aware of Viktor's existence only half an hour ago, he quickly realized that Viktor was pretty a hopeful and confident person. Perhaps a little too much hopeful -which annoyed the fuck out of Yuri-. How could someone be this persistent and optimistic!?

The Russian man's eyes sparkled with determination as he looked at Yuri. "That's okay, we could meet at the end of the day anyways. I bet ten bucks that you will want to get my number later!" Viktor smiled after that. Yuri realized that this dude's smile was heart shaped and he felt something dying and hopping inside at the same time as Viktor patted Yuri's messy hair before giving him one last smile and turning to the rest of the classroom.

'Why did he had to sit next to me? To bother me before I'm on a lower scale than anyone else? Such a snob..." Yuri thought.

\-----

It's been a few days since then.

Viktor already found some friends because of his social nature. -like an enthusiastic dude called JJ, a teen with anger issues called Yuri, a sexy, and probably gay, guy called Christophe, and a dude who is much younger than he seems called Otabek, who was the only normal person in the group-. He and his group of friends would often hang out together and half of the girls in the school were already discussing how they were going to confess to one of them. 'These guys were born with silver spoons in their mouths, of course they were going to be popular!' Yuri said to himself just to make himself feel worse and better at the same time.

And of course, Yuri was chosen as "the freak" because ... reasons? Half of the class would look at him weirdly when he'd enter the class and sit on his seat quietly which made Yuri uncomfortable. But for the sake of his mental health, he would usually act like he didn't see them and take a book out of his bag to read. 

He had an intresting taste in books. Somedays, he would read classics like Crime and Punishment, somedays, he would read detective novel and somedays he would read long fairytale books. He never read romance or comedy though.

"Yuri, what are you reading?" 

Yuri looked up at the familiar voice that was calling out to him. It was his  
-maybe- only friend , Phichit. 

"Remember the book that I picked up from the bookshop the other day? The one that was about religions?" said Yuri while he was taking his water bottle out of his bag.

"Oh that? I remember. Did it helped you?"

"It's intresting to say the least." He opened the cap and started drinking the water as his friend was talking.

"That's nice I suppose." Phichit shook his head. "Are Viktor and you close?"

Yuri eyes widened and he quickly stopped drinking and closed the bottle's cap. "What? No no no no no, I only met him a few days ago."

"Well, he comes to your class during lunch breaks and always asks for you. You two should talk with each other, or you increase yor chance of dying as a virgin!

"Oh shut up..." Phichit laughed as his friend packed his stuff and got out of the classroom in a hurry to meet Viktor.


	5. JJ's Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I came back :") I was planning on posting 4 chapters today but I guess I'm too tired. Luckily I still have time untill 9th of September *this year schools will open up at 9th of september in Turkey*.  
> So yeah. I will post two more chapters tomorrow. 
> 
> There will be not much Viktuuri scenes until the 8th-9th chapter :"> My brain is adding more detail and more detail into everything. So yeah.
> 
> Did I mention that I never edit my chapters? Lmao

The man with black hair lightly tapped his "friend's" shoulder. His friend turned around and greeted the Asian man with a warm smile and a happy toned "Hey, how are you?" until he noticed the embarrassed look on the shorter man's face.

"Viktor, can we talk for a bit?"

Viktor was a little unsettled by his only genuine friend's face and attitude. He followed him with a small "Of course..." to his locker. 

"Um... What business do you have with me that requires you to come to my classes and ask for me at every lunch break?"

'Oh no...' Viktor thought, 'I knew his friend would suspect me and tell Yuri something.' and shook his head. 'It would be a bad idea to tell him that he miserable look on his eyes and his body cought my attention in the first place, right?' 

"I just wanted to hang out with you?" 

"Other people are saying different things though! Why do you want to hang out with me this much?" Yuri was begging him to get a proper answer, since he was already flustered enough about Phichit's 'dying as a virgin' comment.

'I just really love to see your eyes shine eveytime you laugh.'   
"You just seemed intresting to me, I guess."

"What's the thing that you even see in me?"

'I literally just gave you the answer to that, silly Yuri.'  
"I don't know, your ass?" Viktor was just saying whatever that came into his mind now, since he had the same mental capacity of an empty, enslaved moisture packet at that moment, basically an empty water bottle.

Yuri was looking at this idiot carefully with a red face, unable to catch his gaze. He looked so cute with that shocked expression on his face; his chocolate brown eyes were so brown and watery while his cheeks had a heavy blush on them. Viktor wanted to wipe away the tears in his eyes, kiss his cheeks and slightly bite them time to time while touching his nicely shaped legs and letting his hands slowly go upwards and make smaller man helplessly-

"What the fuck, Viktor?"

'What the fuck Viktor?' indeed.

"Uh... um Yuri, I mean... Please don't think... uh..." It was clear that he was trying to think of something to say. He never put any thought on why he had a friendship with Yuri in the first place. The man seemed so small and fragile, but strong, pure but erotic at the same time. He didn't wanted their encounter to be a one time thing. Viktor admired him but there was no way that he was going to tell this to him.

Yet. 

But this "yet" was the problem in here.

"I-I said that sarcastically! Like there are so many things I see in you, I wouldn't even pay attention to your butt! Not that I hate your butt, I actually quiet love it but- no, no, no, that's not it, that's not it..."

"Decide on wether you like his ass or not already Viktor, dilemma will only make you suffer." Christophe came lurking from Yuri's back as the poor guy panicked like the time when his sister found him looking at an 18+ Gay Magazine with his friends and slammed his own back and ass to his locker to avoid any groping from Chris. Since Christophe was being Christophe as always.

"Don't make this harder for me CHRISTOPHE GIACOMETTI." Viktor said with an embarrassed look. He had the expression of a sex education teacher that gave up on the world as the result of teaching a subject like sex ed to a group of hyperactive and stupid 7th graders.

But Chris just ignored him and turned back to Yuri, who was trembling out of fear. "Hello there, Yuri. Having some quality time with plain ol' Viktor?" 

"We.. w-we were just talking... You know, that Chad in the chemistry class and stuff..." Chris and Viktor both knew that the boy was a terrible liar and everyone else with the right mind could see that he was picking topics out of his ass. "You?"

"I was coming back from the cafeteria. That place was packed unfortunately." Chris thinked for a moment. "I meant to tell "fortunately", since I met with you two when I was coming back."

"Why?" They both said at the same time. 

"JJ is planning on having a party a few months later since his parents are going to leave because of a wedding, so they won't be in the house."


	6. The Plan

"Which is something that your parents should never do if they act like a bunch of assholes."

"What did JJ even do?" Yuri was relieved that Chris came in and broke his arguement with Viktor. If it wasn't for him, the two of them would probably be in an awkward mood all day. 

"You know those PE teachers?" Viktor added. "The male teacher that made you shed tears of depression on your first day? And the women who backed him up and told you to quit being a pussy? Those are JJ's parents."

"Oh..." Yuri simply said as he remembered his first day. He couldn't jump over the obstacles while running well and the teacher pressured him so much that Yuri started to cry in front of everyone. "It was not pleasant."

"So what I'm thinking about is..." Christophe winked. "We should go to that pary when JJ anounces it and mess up the place a bit."

"Is it legal to do that though?" Viktor asked in a playful manner. 

"If it's legal to pressure your student mentally and fuck up their morals, then it should be perfectly legal to turn their place into a barn filled with cow shit." a shorter, long blonde haired boy responded in Chris' place.

"Yurio! I never expected you to agree with me." Chris said as Yurio mumbled something about his name being "Yuri". "If you are going to turn that asshole PE teacher's crotch goblin's house into a living hell, I'm up for the challenge.

Yuri *the asian one* just laughed at Yurio's saltiness and bluntness as he opened up his locker and placed down the unnecessary things on him into his locker. "What time is it?"

"It's 12.21 PM. We still have time before the bell rings." Viktor notified. "How about we go and eat lunch at the basketball field alltogether?"

"That sounds like a good idea! I bought a sandwich for myself. What about you, Yurio?" Chirs happily clapped his hands. Yurio checked his bag and said "My grandpa made me some food. So I'm all good. What about that pig over there?

"Me?" Yuri said.

"Oh shut up Yurio, he is not even chubby!" Viktor protested, and he was not lying about it. Yuri was a little skinny, his extreme diet mainly being the cause. 

"I mean, if Yurio saw me before I lost weight, which is a year ago, I would expect a comment like that from him Viktor. It's okay..." Yuri slowly put his arms around himself as he spoke with a tone that said "He is just a child, don't worry about it."

"I'm not a fucking kid!"

\------  
[ A few Months Later ]

"Yuri, Chris, Yurio, Otabek, everyone, Look at this!" 

It was a calm afternoon while thir group was eating together in the surprisingly empty cafeteria.

"Lower down your voice, you sound like a squirrel." Yurio was a saltmine as always. "Yeah, we could talk about that later." Chris responded as Otabek was ruffling Yurio's hair.

"JJ just uploaded a story, he's announcing the party!"

"Isn't that a bad idea when his parents are following his instagram though?" Yuri, being the only sensible person in the group -with Otabek- asked this question. He was still new to this friend group, and his friend Phichit said that "If he didn't get all of the juicy drama about JJ and others, then he wouldn't treat him with a bowl of katsudon this weekend". So he was asking questions rapidly. "All for a bowl of katsudon..." Yuri thought.

"Not really." Otabek said with a straight face. "This one's is his main account. He has another one, in which he follows his parents. He is all good." 

"What are we going to do, Mr. Giacometti? This was your idea."

"Oh, I thought you'd never ask." Christophe laughed. And got ready to talk about his big plan.

"So. I have a few ideas and remember, we are targeting his parents. Not JJ. We could call the police when the party gets wild and put a video tape titled "Giving hubby a lapdance while getting high", thank you for sneaking that tape out of his parents bedroom Yurio."

"Wair wait wait Yurio did WHAT!?"

Chris ignored Yuri and continued talking.

"Or we could plant a drunk couple in their bedroom, take a shit on their computer keyboard and throw their sexy-time-tools to their front yard and turn their place into a shithole."


End file.
